That Pendant

I was 18 when I started to get close with a really great girl. Her name is Chaelyn and she was not a member of the church. I was silently hoping and praying during those times that I would have some chance to share the gospel to her. Then, in one random moment, she asked me "Your pendant is really pretty. What's etched on it?" That was the first Church related question she asked.

Throughout the years, that question has been repeated over and over again. Some have even called me "Mara" because my pendant looks like the one she owned. I would smile and tell them "Oh, this pendant is from the church. Want to know how I got it?"

This is the pendant that I am talking about:

This is my Young Women Medallion. 

I got this when I was 18 years old. 

When a girl turns 12, she transforms from being a Primary to a Young Woman. When I was about to be turned over, Mama introduced me to the Young Women Personal Progress Program. 

(this is the old personal progress)

My Mama told me that one of the best ways to spend my young woman years is to work on this program. I had six years to finish it, six years to develop into a young woman who "progressed".

This Young Women Personal Progress helps young women in the church to develop talents, skills and knowledge that will help them "strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants and receive ordinances from the temple". The program also aims to help young women to know who they are and the great worth they have in the eyes of our Father in Heaven. There are eight values in here namely Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works and Integrity and Virtue. In this program, young women are tasked to fulfill the value experiences and projects required in each value in order for her to earn the Young Women Medallion. My mother kept on telling me it's not really about the medallion, it's about what I will learn.

Looking back, I am grateful I did give time for my Personal Progress. I did not only gain a beautiful pendant, I acquired skills that I can use when I am finally a wife and a mother. :)

There was one time when our Religious Education teacher asked me to share my beliefs in front. While I was entertaining questions, Chaelyn stood up and said "You see the pendant she's wearing? She got it from a young women's program in her church. Isn't that nice?"

Chaelyn is now a member of the Church and just celebrated her 1st year last August 6, 2012. She's one strong young woman and she's even more diligent with missionary work than I. I am way proud of her.

She's also currently working on her Personal Progress. I know if she finishes well, she will also be able to bless many lives.

A Message to all Morena Girls

Dear Morena girls,

How many times have you looked at your image in the mirror and said "I will never be as pretty as the fair skinned girls on TV"? How many moments have you sulked in self-pity because your crush said he prefers girls with a fair complexion? Can you still recall the last time you wish you were whiter because the media tells you morena is not really "in"?

I speak from experience. I, too, am a morena. Too often, I have seen TV commercials that rejoice in the fact (and lies) that their products can transform a brown-skinned girl into a mestiza. There were countless times that I wished those products would have that effect on me. I always got zero results. As an effect, I would complain to my parents "Why am I morena?" "Why can't I be fair?!" "No one likes me because of my skin color!" My ever understanding parents would then tell me "But Giulia, you are beautiful! You are prettier than those fair skinned girls!" Those words were true but to a teenager who's inferior, it did little to alleviate my insecurity.

Going to the city was once an ordeal to me. Seeing a flood of "mapuputi" made me feel insignificant, not pretty. I didn't say it out loud during those times but I was not a very confident teenager.

It was all awful. But it changed when I decided that no one can ever tell me that morena isn't beautiful; that even though I'm not mestiza, I can still stand out.

What did I do? I started with constantly reminding myself of my worth. I am Heavenly Father's daughter! Who are they to tell me that a Princess isn't beautiful? Fair skinned or not, I am special, important, significant to my Father on High. The media might tell me again and again that I am not breathtakingly pretty but the knowledge that I am a beloved daughter of a Most Powerful Being makes me forget it.

Second, I told myself that beauty is not only skin deep. I did activities that boosted my self-worth and self esteem. I utilized my talents, I read books, I spoke my mind out when my opinion was asked. I helped in the community, I participated in church activities. I would represent in contests and I never hesitated when it came to showing talents in front of a large crowd. I also made sure that I can be of help to others. Because of these, I was appreciated not only for my looks but also for the contributions I give. I have proven that even though I'm morena, I can stand out! I can be confident! 

Third, I decided to remind myself everyday that I am beautiful. Every time I wake up, I would look into the mirror and tell my reflection "Hey, pretty! This is your day!" It did wonders to my confidence. Like what I said before, there's a big difference between "knowing" and "believing". Constantly reminding myself that I am beautiful made me feel that I am beautiful. I am no longer inferior of my skin. :)

Lastly, surround yourself with people who loves you. I am grateful for parents and for friends in school and in the church who did a lot to make me feel pretty. They don't know it but their little compliments when I was maturing did a lot to build my confidence. Always be around people who build you up. Be with friends who see your real worth. Don't hang around with peers who belittle you. You will gain nothing from them. Be with friends, real friends, who will lift you up. They will be angels to you in the most trying "insecure" times. :) Be that kind of friend also. Give honest compliments to those who deserve them. Don't bring anyone down. I have once read that a real confident girl is the one who can see good things in others. Be that kind of girl! :)

Going to the city now (and to any event with loads of people) is not an ordeal to me anymore. I no longer feel inferior because I'm kayumanggi. In a sea of fair skinned beauties, a confident morena can stand out. 

And who ever told you you can't? ;)

Love,

A proud morena. ;)