How many times have you looked at your image in the mirror and said "I will never be as pretty as the fair skinned girls on TV"? How many moments have you sulked in self-pity because your crush said he prefers girls with a fair complexion? Can you still recall the last time you wish you were whiter because the media tells you morena is not really "in"?
I speak from experience. I, too, am a morena. Too often, I have seen TV commercials that rejoice in the fact (and lies) that their products can transform a brown-skinned girl into a mestiza. There were countless times that I wished those products would have that effect on me. I always got zero results. As an effect, I would complain to my parents "Why am I morena?" "Why can't I be fair?!" "No one likes me because of my skin color!" My ever understanding parents would then tell me "But Giulia, you are beautiful! You are prettier than those fair skinned girls!" Those words were true but to a teenager who's inferior, it did little to alleviate my insecurity.
Going to the city was once an ordeal to me. Seeing a flood of "mapuputi" made me feel insignificant, not pretty. I didn't say it out loud during those times but I was not a very confident teenager.
It was all awful. But it changed when I decided that no one can ever tell me that morena isn't beautiful; that even though I'm not mestiza, I can still stand out.
What did I do? I started with constantly reminding myself of my worth. I am Heavenly Father's daughter! Who are they to tell me that a Princess isn't beautiful? Fair skinned or not, I am special, important, significant to my Father on High. The media might tell me again and again that I am not breathtakingly pretty but the knowledge that I am a beloved daughter of a Most Powerful Being makes me forget it.
Second, I told myself that beauty is not only skin deep. I did activities that boosted my self-worth and self esteem. I utilized my talents, I read books, I spoke my mind out when my opinion was asked. I helped in the community, I participated in church activities. I would represent in contests and I never hesitated when it came to showing talents in front of a large crowd. I also made sure that I can be of help to others. Because of these, I was appreciated not only for my looks but also for the contributions I give. I have proven that even though I'm morena, I can stand out! I can be confident!
Third, I decided to remind myself everyday that I am beautiful. Every time I wake up, I would look into the mirror and tell my reflection "Hey, pretty! This is your day!" It did wonders to my confidence. Like what I said before, there's a big difference between "knowing" and "believing". Constantly reminding myself that I am beautiful made me feel that I am beautiful. I am no longer inferior of my skin. :)
Lastly, surround yourself with people who loves you. I am grateful for parents and for friends in school and in the church who did a lot to make me feel pretty. They don't know it but their little compliments when I was maturing did a lot to build my confidence. Always be around people who build you up. Be with friends who see your real worth. Don't hang around with peers who belittle you. You will gain nothing from them. Be with friends, real friends, who will lift you up. They will be angels to you in the most trying "insecure" times. :) Be that kind of friend also. Give honest compliments to those who deserve them. Don't bring anyone down. I have once read that a real confident girl is the one who can see good things in others. Be that kind of girl! :)
Going to the city now (and to any event with loads of people) is not an ordeal to me anymore. I no longer feel inferior because I'm kayumanggi. In a sea of fair skinned beauties, a confident morena can stand out.
And who ever told you you can't? ;)
Love,
A proud morena. ;)
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