That Pendant

I was 18 when I started to get close with a really great girl. Her name is Chaelyn and she was not a member of the church. I was silently hoping and praying during those times that I would have some chance to share the gospel to her. Then, in one random moment, she asked me "Your pendant is really pretty. What's etched on it?" That was the first Church related question she asked.

Throughout the years, that question has been repeated over and over again. Some have even called me "Mara" because my pendant looks like the one she owned. I would smile and tell them "Oh, this pendant is from the church. Want to know how I got it?"

This is the pendant that I am talking about:

This is my Young Women Medallion. 

I got this when I was 18 years old. 

When a girl turns 12, she transforms from being a Primary to a Young Woman. When I was about to be turned over, Mama introduced me to the Young Women Personal Progress Program. 

(this is the old personal progress)

My Mama told me that one of the best ways to spend my young woman years is to work on this program. I had six years to finish it, six years to develop into a young woman who "progressed".

This Young Women Personal Progress helps young women in the church to develop talents, skills and knowledge that will help them "strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants and receive ordinances from the temple". The program also aims to help young women to know who they are and the great worth they have in the eyes of our Father in Heaven. There are eight values in here namely Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works and Integrity and Virtue. In this program, young women are tasked to fulfill the value experiences and projects required in each value in order for her to earn the Young Women Medallion. My mother kept on telling me it's not really about the medallion, it's about what I will learn.

Looking back, I am grateful I did give time for my Personal Progress. I did not only gain a beautiful pendant, I acquired skills that I can use when I am finally a wife and a mother. :)

There was one time when our Religious Education teacher asked me to share my beliefs in front. While I was entertaining questions, Chaelyn stood up and said "You see the pendant she's wearing? She got it from a young women's program in her church. Isn't that nice?"

Chaelyn is now a member of the Church and just celebrated her 1st year last August 6, 2012. She's one strong young woman and she's even more diligent with missionary work than I. I am way proud of her.

She's also currently working on her Personal Progress. I know if she finishes well, she will also be able to bless many lives.

A Message to all Morena Girls

Dear Morena girls,

How many times have you looked at your image in the mirror and said "I will never be as pretty as the fair skinned girls on TV"? How many moments have you sulked in self-pity because your crush said he prefers girls with a fair complexion? Can you still recall the last time you wish you were whiter because the media tells you morena is not really "in"?

I speak from experience. I, too, am a morena. Too often, I have seen TV commercials that rejoice in the fact (and lies) that their products can transform a brown-skinned girl into a mestiza. There were countless times that I wished those products would have that effect on me. I always got zero results. As an effect, I would complain to my parents "Why am I morena?" "Why can't I be fair?!" "No one likes me because of my skin color!" My ever understanding parents would then tell me "But Giulia, you are beautiful! You are prettier than those fair skinned girls!" Those words were true but to a teenager who's inferior, it did little to alleviate my insecurity.

Going to the city was once an ordeal to me. Seeing a flood of "mapuputi" made me feel insignificant, not pretty. I didn't say it out loud during those times but I was not a very confident teenager.

It was all awful. But it changed when I decided that no one can ever tell me that morena isn't beautiful; that even though I'm not mestiza, I can still stand out.

What did I do? I started with constantly reminding myself of my worth. I am Heavenly Father's daughter! Who are they to tell me that a Princess isn't beautiful? Fair skinned or not, I am special, important, significant to my Father on High. The media might tell me again and again that I am not breathtakingly pretty but the knowledge that I am a beloved daughter of a Most Powerful Being makes me forget it.

Second, I told myself that beauty is not only skin deep. I did activities that boosted my self-worth and self esteem. I utilized my talents, I read books, I spoke my mind out when my opinion was asked. I helped in the community, I participated in church activities. I would represent in contests and I never hesitated when it came to showing talents in front of a large crowd. I also made sure that I can be of help to others. Because of these, I was appreciated not only for my looks but also for the contributions I give. I have proven that even though I'm morena, I can stand out! I can be confident! 

Third, I decided to remind myself everyday that I am beautiful. Every time I wake up, I would look into the mirror and tell my reflection "Hey, pretty! This is your day!" It did wonders to my confidence. Like what I said before, there's a big difference between "knowing" and "believing". Constantly reminding myself that I am beautiful made me feel that I am beautiful. I am no longer inferior of my skin. :)

Lastly, surround yourself with people who loves you. I am grateful for parents and for friends in school and in the church who did a lot to make me feel pretty. They don't know it but their little compliments when I was maturing did a lot to build my confidence. Always be around people who build you up. Be with friends who see your real worth. Don't hang around with peers who belittle you. You will gain nothing from them. Be with friends, real friends, who will lift you up. They will be angels to you in the most trying "insecure" times. :) Be that kind of friend also. Give honest compliments to those who deserve them. Don't bring anyone down. I have once read that a real confident girl is the one who can see good things in others. Be that kind of girl! :)

Going to the city now (and to any event with loads of people) is not an ordeal to me anymore. I no longer feel inferior because I'm kayumanggi. In a sea of fair skinned beauties, a confident morena can stand out. 

And who ever told you you can't? ;)

Love,

A proud morena. ;)

A Big Sister's Request to the Young Girls

Dear girls,

I have once been a teenager. I know what it feels to like boys. These associations can be fun and amazing but these can also lead to some serious dilemmas. I am a big sister to two wonderful boys. This is my request to you.

I was 5 when my Mama told my sister and I that we will be having another sibling. Even now, I still can remember how thrilled I was. Every time I'm asked to pray, I would specifically ask Heavenly Father that our new baby would be a boy. I would ask the person who will offer the prayer to remind Heavenly Father of that request. Imagine how happy we all were when Liam was born. He was an answered prayer.

When I was 6, I asked Mama over dinner to buy me a Barbie doll for a Christmas gift. She smiled and told me "How about a baby brother?" In 1998, Louie was born. He was better than any Barbie doll.

Why am I telling this to you? Because I want you to know that my brothers mean a lot to me. I love them, I want them to be happy, I want them to be good boys and I want them to be pure despite all the temptations in the world. Call me a hovering sister, but I fear so much for them. The adolescent years are trying times and  I don't know what challenges and temptations they are facing. I cannot battle the adversary in behalf of my brothers. But I can ask for YOUR help.

I don't know all of you. I don't know your associations with my brothers or how you and them became acquainted. You may be girls they love, girls they adore, girls they respect and girls they have crushes on. I don't know you all personally but this request is for all the girls my brothers know: PLEASE HELP THEM REMAIN GOOD AND VIRTUOUS.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are taught that young women are guardians of virtue. We have great power to help our young boys to be better by helping them be pure. We are Mormons and my brothers have the responsibility to serve on a mission when they reach the age of 18. You play a great part in making sure they are worthy to take this responsibility. It's their responsibility to the Lord.

What can you do to help?

Please, help them retain their sexual purity. For guys, when one male is still a virgin, you are a laughing stock. Some guys tend to believe this. Girls, please please please help my brothers know that this is not true. Help them by expressing your belief that saving one's self before marriage is never ridiculous. Be someone who is brave enough to change the topic when you think you're talking really sensitive stuff. Please be wise enough to respect yourself and my brothers.

Girls, please be modest both in appearance and in your actions. Stand firm in your decision to not engage in any physical relationship before you have a ring on your wedding finger.  Help my brothers think clean, act clean and be clean. I will forever be thankful to you. The Lord will also be thankful to you for you have not taken away from my brothers their chance of serving Him a mission.

Also, please encourage them to be the best that they can be. Please help them realize the responsibility that is in their hands. Some young men forget about their sacred responsibility. Be the kind of girl who wants what's best for my brothers.

Lastly, be brave girls. Please do it for me. Be brave enough to correct them when what they are doing is wrong. My parents could reprimand them, I could give them a pretty long sermon, but you have no idea what effect girls they respect could have on them. You could affect his decisions and his actions. Your standards will influence them. You are stars in their world, MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I know these requests are hard and they require a lot of patience, love and complete unselfishness. But this is necessary. The Devil knows what my brothers are capable of. He is powerful. But girls, WHEN (not IF) we truly become guardians of my brothers' virtue and purity, we can fight him.

I will forever be thankful to you. My brothers' future wives will be grateful. Our Heavenly Father will be so very happy.

Help me, girls.

From a sister who is counting so much on you,
Giulia

Repentance and a Dislocated Shoulder

The physical pain I was feeling since yesterday brought to me a realization about one of the most precious gifts of all: repentance.

I woke up well and good one Saturday morning. I needed be early that day for our 7:30 Business Law Examinations. I came to school right on time and took the exams fairly okay. I did not feel anything bad.

Until the noon came.

After I had lunch, I felt pain on my right shoulder. I tried moving it in a rotating motion but everytime I did, a stinging pain would make me say "Ouuuuch". By sunset, the pain worsened. I kept recalling any incident that might have caused the misfortune but I could not think of any. Feeling like a medical doctor, I tried to massage my shoulders for I was thinking the stinging sensation must only be because of a strained muscle. As the night progressed, I found it even harder to move my right arm. Thinking that the pain would be alleviated by morning, I went to bed early with the hope that the awful state of my right shoulder will be lessened.

I was wrong. 

When I woke up, I noticed that the pain intensified and that it was now accompanied by a burning sensation. I kept clamoring to my Mama that my shoulders hurt so bad. After having enough, my Mama offered some pretty scary suggestion: "Why don't we go to someone who knows how to do some hilot? Your shoulder might need it". I shook my head and was adamant with my "I don't want to go. Hilot is painful!" (Hilot, by the way, is a traditional Filipino way of healing strained muscles and other body pains). Then she told me "it's better to experience the pain of hilot now than to endure with that shoulder for 3 more days". Then and there, I realized she was indeed right.

We went to the "manog-hilot" (one who performs the hilot) and I nervously sat on the chair waiting for him to do the excruciating process. I was afraid since I know the "manog-hilot" would twist and turn and bend my hand like it does not have any infirmity. I was sore nervous. However, I endured the pain. Afterwards, I felt nothing but little pain. I was happy to know my agony was over. I knew my shoulder's process of healing will soon begin.

I have thought about this experience and I can tell that this can be similar to our experience with repentance. There are moments in our lives that would bring about so many pains to us. Some of us would be brave enough to find ways to heal the wound immediately. Some of us would think the guilt and pain of sin will just vanish away come morning light. Some of us get disappointed and always hurt when we find out that we can't just "sleep on it". It will hurt when we discover that the pain is worse than ever. Loving family members and friends would come to us and offer us help. Help can come from them giving us strength to go to the Bishop and ask for help. Some of us would be very afraid to come and ask for spiritual help because we have already placed in our minds that the process is so painful and that the bishop might twist and turn and bend us. Some know that indeed the road to repentance is not easy. It entails a lot of pain and regret. However, I know that some people can bravely say that after the repentance process with the help of their Bishops, they felt whole. I'm sure they're happy with their choice to seek help than to procrastinate and feel sorrow for many more days. They felt at peace. They were confident that the process of healing will soon begin.

We should never take the gift of repentance for granted. This is a precious and marvelous gift. It is Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ's proof of mercy and love toward us. The process might be painful but it's all worth it. Any pain felt from the sins will be gone and a peaceful feeling will envelope you and you can finally say "The healing will soon begin". :)

I MISS YOU.

:)

Dateable: Are you? Are They? :)

If you're shopping and a particular item caught your eye and you decided to buy it there and then, you might be a compulsive buyer. But, if you're living on student allowance, you might spend loads of time just thinking whether you'll buy that item or not. You use 30 minutes just to convince yourself that the item is worth it. That's me most of the time. Oftentimes, I'd leave the shop without buying. However, there was a time I decided to plunge. And I'm still happy I did. :)

It was a fine evening and my roommates and I decided to go to the mall to buy some random stuffs. Like me, the two girls I'm with (Lorelyn and Genevie) are also very thrift when it comes to spending. Without seeing anything that's worth our money, we decided to go to Book Sale. Book Sale is a store here in the Philippines that sells second hand books at affordable prices. After a few minutes of scanning, a book caught my attention. The title "DATEABLE: Are you? Are they?" grabbed me like 'whoa!' I took the book and scanned it. Written on its precious pages are advice for teenagers about most of the things they need to know about the opposite sex. For a 17 year old girl, it was love at first sight. I decided then and there that I would buy it.

........until I saw the price. P200! (Okay, now, for a student who's living on a P1500/week allowance, her budget has no room for a P200 book). 

I was like "No! I need to buy this one!" 

My brain said "but it's P200. That's 4 meals and 5 sachets of shampoo!" 

I must admit I resorted to sourgraping. 

"Tsk, naah, this book must not really be so great" I randomly opened it and I saw a page that shouts "How to increase your Dateability!"

"Nope, this is not worth my P200!" I then started to scan through other pages and saw words like "Guys Will Lie", "Girls Will Lie", "If I Will do it for You, I Will do it to You" "What does he say when you're not around?" The more pages I flipped, the more I became convinced that I should buy the book. I took a deep breath, went to the cashier, and paid for the book.

It's been 4 years since that day and up to now I have no regrets that I bought Justin Lookadoo and Hayley DiMarco's "Dateable" book. I always think it's Heavenly Father's blessing to me. I was a young girl in a big city full of boys. I was clueless and felt like the 16-going-on-17 girl from the Sound of Music. The book helps me A LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex.

This book has helped not only me but also four other girls who once had this in their possession. Whenever I hear a girl clamoring about a boy, I would tell her "Hhhmmm, I have a book I would let you borrow. It would help you decipher the baboon (JK)." I wish all the girls will have the chance to read this book. There are a lot of realities listed in here and if girls would only take time to read them, they'll have a better perspective.

My family also fell in love with "Dateable". Even my father said it's a great guidebook to use as a resource for speaking to the youth. Because of our love for it, my Mama bought this book:

Yes, after Dateable, Hayley DiMarco wrote a book together with her husband. The book's entitled "Marriable". This book is a "let's-get-down-to-business" masterpiece. This biblio tells us that after being Dateable, the next step is to learn how to be "Marriable". Also, I guess it implicitly reminds us that we SHOULD get married. We're not forever gonna stay in the dating scene. :)

These are really AMAAAZZZIINNGGG reads and I am lucky I got a hold of these. I feel like Alma of the Book of Mormon. If only I were an angel, I would definitely share the things I got from these books to other people so that they'd know as well. But I'm just a mere blogger who can only write and hope that the next time you see these books in a shop, you will never hesitate to buy it. :)

Heart Break?! Piece o' Cake!

Whitney Houston once asked this question: "Where do broken hearts go? Can they find their way home back to the open arms of a love that's waiting there?"

I, myself, am wondering about that. How does a broken heart heal? Or, what does a person do to lessen and alleviate the pain? How can one cope up in the easiest way? Everyone has their own way of mending a bruised and shattered heart. However, no matter what strategy one has, it's still undeniable that getting over a heart break is quite not listed in "Top 10 Easiest Things to Do!"

Out of curiosity, I tried to ask 3 people about how they ease the sting of a break-up or a disappointing love story. Let me introduce them to you first.

First is we have "The Girl with Tons of Suitors". She's in her mid 20's and she is absolutely stunning. She is also smart, fashionable and funny. With these qualities, some might think that heartbreak is not really for her. However, she also knows about the "pains brought about by love". When I randomly asked her how she gets over disheartening situations, she told me "I would drink a lot of Coke, eat loads of chocolates and tell myself it's not very often that I experience a broken heart. I must treasure the feeling. I just tell myself 'Whatever will be will be' and I eventually feel better..." She jokingly added "I know I sound like a masochist." I think I agree with her "que cera cera" philosophy. Sometimes, we tend to plan ahead of everything else and then expectations will start and when expectations aren't met, hearts are shattered. If we learn to live life without expecting too much, it will be less stressful. :)

The second person I interviewed was a young mom. When she was a teen, she was the Queen Bee. Bee's knees, I should say. Pretty, intelligent and confident. I knew since we were teens that the only guy she seriously adored was her first love (her husband now). When I asked her how she copes up with bitter, broken feelings, she said "I usually spend two days in isolation. I would stay inside my room most of the time and would drown myself in my tears. I listen to really sad love songs so that I would be able to cry. After crying, I would feel a whole lot better. Then, after two days of just staying inside, I would pamper myself to a spa, have my nails manicured, have a total beauty treatment. I want to show him that the break up did not really affect me and I'm still beautiful even without him..." True that. It's a given that having someone to love can bring happiness but it should not make us lose our love for ourselves. I guess that's the best way to start the "moving on" process: loving yourself first.

The last person I inquired about was someone of my age. We grew up together and I've seen how positive she is in life. Also, I have seen her cry. She's single now. I don't think she has any plans to have a boyfriend anytime soon. When I asked her "What did you do during those times when you were devastated because of a failed love story?" She laughed and answered me "You should know it isn't easy. Of course, you can't get over it for just one day. You need to take one day at a time. There were times that I felt so down and hopeless. What I did is I knelt and prayed to Heavenly Father. I poured out my heart to Him. Whenever I felt heavy inside, I would just talk to Him. After quite some time, the tears stopped. It's natural that you will miss the person and the things you did together. What's different is that although you might miss him, you can now move on without him. Heavenly Father listens. You are His daughter. A Father won't allow His daughter to just be taken for granted..." (Agreed. This is what I also believe in. Heavenly Father only wants the best for His daughters and sons. Maybe that person isn't really best for her.)

One of my favorite quotes bears this message: "A heartbreak is a message from God that He saved you from the wrong one..." Yes, I know that heartbreaks are not really easy but when you slowly start to fight and move on, the pain will lessen. You would also start to look at it as a blessing in disguise. It will help you. Annnnd, the best part, make you grow. :)

(DISCLAIMER: I don't usually ask weird questions like this. Hehehe) :)